You know the score – one Facebook friend posts a photo of a meal they’re enjoying, and you get a slight curiosity about the origin of said meal. But when not one, but at least ten, of my Facebook friends started posting a rash of photos displaying miniature picnic tables laden with afternoon tea delights, I had to find out what the heck was going on.
And so, after a little digging, I discovered that all of these photos were of the afternoon tea served at the Garden Kitchen at the Holden Clough Garden Centre, near Clitheroe. After seeing these photos continually for at least a year, and pestering Scott about this new-fangled social media phenomenon, we finally had an excuse to visit last week – a rental car and a nice sunny day ahead of us. So off we went.
The garden centre is located within the Forest of Bowland; a Lancashire beauty spot if ever you saw one. Getting there isn’t too tricky, although it’s definitely located off the beaten track and down several one-way streets. We arrived, gave our names (you are advised to pre-book for the afternoon tea and pay a deposit – I quickly saw why when I scanned the crowded tables) and then were handed a vibrating thingummy-jig which would alert us to our table being ready. We perched at a table outside, enjoying the sunshine, but were quickly called to our table indoors, so not much waiting was done.
We both ordered a pot of tea, which I was pretty disappointed to discover was just the regular bagged variety, with no options of any other blend or decaf (I guess I’ve been spoiled with some delicious afternoon teas in the past, but this was a garden centre and not Harvey Nicks, so I should have known better). But the milk was served in a cute little metal urn, so that went some way to making me feel a little better.
The afternoon picnic includes various savoury items in the place of regular-old sandwiches, so guests are offered the option of ordering a vegetarian version, which is what we went for, as we don’t really eat red meat and saw that two of the items contained beef and pork. Unfortunately it took two attempts of sending our picnic back to the kitchen to get the vegetarian order right, despite having pre-booked it, because both times it came out with the meat dishes. The waitress apologised profusely, and then the manger came over and offered us a free portion of chips, which really wasn’t necessary but which we heartily agreed to (when has anyone ever turned down free chips?!)
Our savoury items included a cup of Tuscan bean soup, an egg mayonnaise sandwich, a cheese salad sandwich, a vegetarian hot dog and a tomato & mozzarella bruschetta. The soup was a nice addition to the afternoon tea-style setup, but didn’t really taste like it had beans in it. The sandwiches were standard buffet-style fare (nothing to complain about there), but the bruschetta was stale and bendy. Definitely a let-down. The vegetarian hot dog was surprisingly good and the mixture of mustard and ketchup took me back to my childhood days.
The actual standout part of the meal was the chips. We hadn’t even ordered them, but they were thick-cut, chunky and seasoned nicely, and we polished them all off quickly without a thought to getting too full before the end of the meal. Rookie mistake.
Then we came to the desserts – the best part of any meal, obvs. There was a pineapple and mango smoothie served in a mini glass wellington boot which was very tart and sour. Not quite what you expect from a thick fruit smoothie. There was also a jam & cream Swiss roll and a surprisingly fluffy little cupcake in a flower pot, topped with lemon and orange buttercream and a candied fruit the likes of which I hadn’t tasted since I was a child. The scone was filled with squirty cream and jam, and although it wasn’t a patch on the Devon cream tea I’d had a couple of weeks prior, it was cake-y and dense, just how I like it. I left my salted caramel and chocolate brownie until last, because I’m a chocolate fiend and wanted to savour it, but it was a little stale and not covered with enough sauce, so I was disappointed on that score.
Overall, I think The Garden Kitchen have done a great job at producing a quirky and social-media-sharable afternoon tea that is guaranteed to draw the crowds because of its uniqueness, but the food wasn’t amazing. Parts of it were distinctly average, whereas others (like the smoothie and the bruschetta) were almost unappetizing.
Having said that, the staff were wonderfully friendly, the chips were delicious and the cosy garden centre atmosphere was lovely, so I may definitely visit again, but perhaps just for a snack or a drink next time. Oh, and if you’ve got kids, this is a perfect place to take them, if only for the wow factor of the mini picnic table and the affordable price.
- Holden Clough Nursery, Holden, Bolton-by-Bowland, Lancashire BB7 4PF
- The afternoon tea picnic is served from 2.30pm until 4.30pm Mon – Fri, and until 5.30pm Sat and Sun
- Garden Kitchen website
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